There’s a song in my head, I’m not sure how it goes yet.

I don’t think another cup of coffee, or tea, or vino will get me there.  Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds does wonders… um, so I’ve been told.  But as it turns out this is not easily available at your local Walgreens.  I also don’t “know a guy.”  I assure you, this is a good thing.

Every time I’m at a loss for words I find myself increasing my reading and listening.  My take is that if you bombard eyes and ears with enough words you’re bound to run into the right ones.  Everything from comics, podcasts, music of all genres and eras, The Athletic.  Novels written by Japanese writers translated to English tops my list; Haruki Murakami, my favorite writer, receives my highest recommendation.

Silverchair, a 90s Australian band said in their song Tomorrow:

You say that money
isn’t everything

But I’d like to see you
live without it

This might be the realest shit I’ve heard all year.  This is not the song in my head, but I’m a little closer than before.

Southeast Asia is my favorite place on the planet.  My beautiful people are from this region, and I have adoration for all the other countries I’ve had the pleasure of visiting, and certainly the others that are awaiting a pushpin on my map.  I’m a glutton for southeast Asia’s genre of cuisine, and I can still remember the slight taste of regret that came with trying the spiciest green curry at Chatuchak Market, so spicy I could smell the burn.  I learned quickly that fresh coconut and several slices of water apples provide soothing relief, making the experience all worth it.

You can say a little bit of pain was followed by a little bit of peace.  There’s a song in my head, I’m not sure how it goes yet.  But it tastes something like that.

Take two of your fingers – pointer and middle – and place them along the windpipe of your neck so you can feel your pulse.  Count the beats of your heart for ten, thirty, or sixty seconds, it’s your choice.  Your time interval doesn’t matter here, because the results remain the same –

We all have a finite amount of beats in our heart, and those are x amount of beats you just counted will never be returned.

In our own ways I believe we’re all afraid of time.  It’s secured firmly in the realm of the unknown – we don’t know what, where, why, how, and when things will happen.  Sure as hell terrifies me.  So our desires make all this more comfortable to digest, Right? In other words –

What do you want?

Take a step further. Our attempts to fulfill these desires then make those heartbeats mean something a little bit different, even something a little bit more.  Undoubtedly this spectrum covers the simplest daily glasses of water to earning strenuous qualifications to be in control of a NASA rocket ship. In short –

Did you try to get what you want?

• I need fresh air
  Go outside
• I want to try Indian food, I’ve never had it
  Eat at a local Indian restaurant
• My favorite band is in town for a show!
  Attend their live concert this weekend
• What does Canada look like in autumn?
  Buy a train ticket to Toronto
• How does it feel to be in flight?
  Jump out of a plane and skydive

This can be viewed from a mathematical equation: x/y = z

x = amount of tries
y = amount of desires
z = batting average

Baseball will pay you nine figures if you’re successful inside the batter’s box 30% of the time.  Sounds like a deal of a lifetime when you are allowed a 70% fail rate.  And there seems to lie the chorus of the point – a life filled with trying is a lifetime well spent.

There’s a song in my head, I’m still not quite sure how it goes yet.
*Swings*

But it just might sound like you.