Author Archives: Michael Arce

Chorus

There’s a song in my head, I’m not sure how it goes yet.

I don’t think another cup of coffee, or tea, or vino will get me there.  Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds does wonders… um, so I’ve been told.  But as it turns out this is not easily available at your local Walgreens.  I also don’t “know a guy.”  I assure you, this is a good thing.

Every time I’m at a loss for words I find myself increasing my reading and listening.  My take is that if you bombard eyes and ears with enough words you’re bound to run into the right ones.  Everything from comics, podcasts, music of all genres and eras, The Athletic.  Novels written by Japanese writers translated to English tops my list; Haruki Murakami, my favorite writer, receives my highest recommendation.

Silverchair, a 90s Australian band said in their song Tomorrow:

You say that money
isn’t everything

But I’d like to see you
live without it

This might be the realest shit I’ve heard all year.  This is not the song in my head, but I’m a little closer than before.

Southeast Asia is my favorite place on the planet.  My beautiful people are from this region, and I have adoration for all the other countries I’ve had the pleasure of visiting, and certainly the others that are awaiting a pushpin on my map.  I’m a glutton for southeast Asia’s genre of cuisine, and I can still remember the slight taste of regret that came with trying the spiciest green curry at Chatuchak Market, so spicy I could smell the burn.  I learned quickly that fresh coconut and several slices of water apples provide soothing relief, making the experience all worth it.

You can say a little bit of pain was followed by a little bit of peace.  There’s a song in my head, I’m not sure how it goes yet.  But it tastes something like that.

Take two of your fingers – pointer and middle – and place them along the windpipe of your neck so you can feel your pulse.  Count the beats of your heart for ten, thirty, or sixty seconds, it’s your choice.  Your time interval doesn’t matter here, because the results remain the same –

We all have a finite amount of beats in our heart, and those are x amount of beats you just counted will never be returned.

In our own ways I believe we’re all afraid of time.  It’s secured firmly in the realm of the unknown – we don’t know what, where, why, how, and when things will happen.  Sure as hell terrifies me.  So our desires make all this more comfortable to digest, Right? In other words –

What do you want?

Take a step further. Our attempts to fulfill these desires then make those heartbeats mean something a little bit different, even something a little bit more.  Undoubtedly this spectrum covers the simplest daily glasses of water to earning strenuous qualifications to be in control of a NASA rocket ship. In short –

Did you try to get what you want?

  • I need fresh air
    Go outside
  • I want to try Indian food, I’ve never had it
    Eat at a local Indian restaurant
  • My favorite band is in town for a show!
    Attend their live concert this weekend
  • What does Canada look like in autumn?
    Buy a train ticket to Toronto
  • How does it feel to be in flight?
    Jump out of a plane and skydive

This can be viewed from a mathematical equation: x/y = z

x = amount of tries
y = amount of desires
z = batting average

Baseball will pay you nine figures if you’re successful inside the batter’s box 30% of the time.  Sounds like a deal of a lifetime when you are allowed a 70% fail rate.  And there seems to lie the chorus of the point – a life filled with trying is a lifetime well spent.

There’s a song in my head, I’m still not quite sure how it goes yet.
*Swings*

But it just might sound like you.

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Movement

On the eve of the new year, I found myself sauntering to Wrecking Ball Coffee in The City this morning and instead of my usual almond milk latte, I went with what the guy in front of me ordered – a large English breakfast tea with oat milk.

“Can I have what he ordered?” I said, pointing to the guy that has exponentially more experience in ordering large English Breakfast teas with oat milk than I do.

Sip.
It was as delicious and comforting as it sounds.
Sip.

My day beyond this was as simple as I wanted it to be – work a little, go for a run, clean the house, water the plants, pick up Pad Thai noodles from my favorite Thai place that reminds me of a hidden restaurant through a skinny side street in Bangkok.

Keeping it simple remains my goal and mantra (the pandemic has definitely raised the ante here) and in the last some odd years I’ve become less of a new year’s person and more of the  day-to-day type.  But I’m still a numbers person, so the significance of spending 365 (sometimes 366) days orbiting the sun hasn’t escaped me.  It’s a nice reminder that good things are worth the wait.  I know we’ve all had our own roller coaster rides this year, I’m sure that some carts felt like they flew completely off the tracks at times.  But I do believe we all have a lot to look forward to – maybe as soon as tomorrow, or next week.  Some will be a few months, or several.  But it’s there in front of us, whether we see it or not.

That word – forward.  Hell, you might be sick of hearing or reading it, there’s been days I’ve grown fatigued of it myself.  But if *a better tomorrow had a door, the word “forward” would be the sign on it.  Lateral movements aren’t always bad, either.  In fact, I don’t see them in a negative light at all.  Lateral steps gives us different vantage points and angles, giving us clearer, fulfilling and more efficient pathways for what’s ahead.  Life is never a straight line.

Taking a step back only proves we’re human.  We’re allowed to gather ourselves, take a breath, and take another chance.  It’s life’s greatest magic trick without the smoke, mirrors, or special adhesives on a deck of cards (I should know, I’ve purchased some).  Each step in any direction holds a careful lesson.  Simplicity means movement, and I do believe in staying on the move.

Stagnancy is not an option.

With each sip of my large English Breakfast tea with oak milk, I continued to ponder one of the greatest unsolved mysteries that has stumped generations before mine – is Bigfoot real?

Sip.
Why are the existing photos of Bigfoot all blurry?

Sip.
What if he’s naturally an out-of-focus monster, hence the bad photos?

Sip.
That makes him **extra scary to me.

Empty.
Time for another cup.
— – —-

*A Better Tomorrow (1986) is also a phenomenal John Woo film starring Chow Yun-Fat.  Please go see it.
**Strategic Grill Locations (1999) is a comedy show/album by Mitch Hedberg.  Please go listen to it.

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History

Mr. Robinson, or Mr. Rob as he encouraged and allowed us to refer him as (rest his soul), always had my vote for favorite and memorable teachers in grade school.  He taught history, and if school subjects were NBA teams, history would never win the Finals let alone make the playoffs in the battle for children’s favorite subjects.  And every now and then some jackass kid would prove this by interrupting the class with the same question:

“Man why do we gotta learn history for, Mr. Rob?” To which Mr. Rob replied in his signature booming voice complete with a slight hint of twang, a bit of annoyance and a whole lot of pride:

“To learn from our mistakes!”  With five simple words, Mr. Rob provided one potent answer.  Since then I’ve learned to weave this lesson into the fabric of my life sleeve.  At the top of the list of things that humans are really good at, it will always read “being flawed.”  Hence we will never stop making mistakes, myself especially.

And in the year of 2020, while I don’t care to list all the mistakes here, I will say that we may have made more than we’ve ever had as a society. And for some damn reason, we kept making those same mistakes and locked it on repeat, without a shuffle button in sight.

We’ve got a long way to go. But I do come with hopeful news – the next step forward starts within your own skin. It’s kind of like that pre-flight safety speech you hear before your plane takes off where they say, and I paraphrase, “In the event of a decompression, masks will descend from the heavens to save your lives. Put on the damn mask in front of you first before you attempt to assist someone else.”

In short, help yourself before helping others.  Five simple words, one potent solution.  Though I assure you – as you may already understand – this is not as simple as it sounds, unfortunately.

I will still ask you to try, or if you’re like me, keep trying.  While we have so much we’d like to forget about this year, I rather take a different approach and remember it all, down to the dates and time of when it happened and the color of your shirt you had on right when you learned about it.  Remember how you felt, what you felt.  Be honest about what you did, and how you reacted.  If there are signs of regret, find a different vantage point, see through different lenses to see what you could have done otherwise.  If fate offers you another chance, know that having the guts to be different will often yield better results.

Rinse (with soap and water for at least 20 seconds).

Repeat.

Contrary to popular belief, we actually do have the wherewithal to refinance a morally bankrupt society and in turn, redefine and reinvent human kindness.  And you don’t have to look no further beyond the last twelve-month dumpster fire.  That’s a win, right?  You don’t have to go as far back as 1964 or 1918, or read up on the Spaniards or small ass Napoleon’s life.  Nope, just January 1, 2020.

Won’t cost you a penny.  Five simple words, one genuine truth.

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Swans

So it took a pandemic to get me to log back on my blog.  Sucks, right?

Not my writing, the pandemic.  Obviously.

I’m like many of you – I don’t have any answers to this.  I’m as worried and hopeful, fearful and fearless as anyone else.  Just the other day I ordered what I call a stress burrito.  It’s exactly what you think it is – a burrito to devour while under stress.  I don’t know if it was the greatest burrito I ever had, but it was quite memorable.  So I’m definitely no expert in the field, I’m not Brad Pitt from World War Z.  Especially after eating a burrito.

What I’ve been asking myself throughout this ordeal is something that you might be asking too – is this the apocalypse?

All I can confidently say at this point is that, I hope it’s not.  There’s many things I’d still like to accomplish, like throwing a first pitch at a baseball game, see Tokyo, catch Thundercat live ten more times, go off-roading in Toyota Landcruisers in Borneo.  I’m sure many of you have list of things you’d like to continue to check off as well.  But most of us are in quarantine, and this has become a global effort to slow and cease the spread of *The Rona; the state of Florida seems to have missed this memo.  Our lives have been limited to the confines of how far out our walls and ceiling go, thus severely limiting our movements and reach.

Hence, aforementioned stress burrito.

In my confines I have put together a soundtrack of this possible apocalypse.  I’m titling it, “Swan Songs.”  In ten total tracks, this is how I see it go down:

  1. Man in the Mirror, Michael Jackson
  2. We Didn’t Start the Fire, Billy Joel
  3. I Like America & America Likes Me, The 1975
  4. The Man Comes Around, Johnny Cash
  5. Turn Back Time, Cher
  6. Let You Go, Chainsmokers
  7. End of the Road,  Boyz II Men
  8. God Bless the Dead, 2Pac
  9. Lost Cause, Beck
  10. Good Riddance, Green Day

The best albums tell a story from one track to another, not many musicians take you on this ride anymore.  Swan Songs starts off hopeful with exuberant beliefs that we can change the world, and it starts with our own first steps:

1. I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life.

Then, it goes into an idea that – hey – perhaps change wasn’t going to be enough anyway because:

2. We didn’t start the fire, it was always burning since the world was turning… no we didn’t light it, but we tried to fight it.

Once we realize everything is burning, fear comes into play.  Fear of what?

3. I’m scared of dying, is that on fire?

That only means one thing, as Cash eloquently told us, that death is around the corner:

4. The hairs on your arm will stand up, at the terror in each sip and in each sup.

We’re human.  We get filled with regret with a quick and simple blink of an eye.  With the reaper looming upon us, we are likely to think of the past:

5. If I could turn back time, if I could find a way…

And hope that there could be a way to return to those times:

6. Holding a room for you.

But, hope is lost:

7. Although we’ve come to the end of the road.  Still, I can’t let go.

And we’re all fucking dead:

8. Don’t worry if you see God, first tell him shit got worse.

But hey, as Billy Joel said in track 2, we didn’t start the fire.  So maybe having hope to change in the first place was a game played by fools?

9. Baby, you’re a lost cause.

Whether or not that’s the case, our time on this planet was always limited to begin with.  This isn’t measured by the amount of breaths you take:

10. I hope you had the time of your life.

So, if this is the apocalypse, just remember – it was probably Kim Kardashian’s fault.  What’s your ten songs for the apocalypse?

Hope to see you on the other side.

— – —-

*This is what the cool kids on Twitter call COVID-19.  Twitter is a free website.

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